


Colorful Graffiti in a Dark Tunnel

by neki31415



Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: Excessive Drinking, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Possible Character Death, Underage Smoking, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-05-14 18:00:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14774474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neki31415/pseuds/neki31415
Summary: Misaki works for an awful, abusive boss as someone who commits vandalism. Takahiro doesn't help him because of various reasons, leaving Misaki all alone. Until the famous author, Usami Akihiko comes to the Takahashi household for the first time and finds something terribly off with the family.





	1. Colored Crimson

**Usagi’s POV**

 

I sat down on the worn out couch in the middle of the Takahashi family’s living room. It was a small room, nothing like my airy living room that could probably fit thirty to forty people at the least. My best friend, Takahiro, the person I love (even though it’s a totally one-sided love and he doesn’t even know) was smiling his carefree smile, sitting comfortably on the couch across from me. Even though the couches looked terrible and had rips and tears, they were surprisingly comfortable and soft.

 

The smile on my dear friend’s face dissolved in seconds before he looked at the wall closest to him, making it seem very fascinating. That’s when I noticed the boy who had just walked in. I realized that’s why Takahiro was looking away, for some reason giving this cute petite boy the cold shoulder.

 

The boy had messy brown hair with bangs that he’d pinned back out of his face. His frame was very small, but with the shirt, he was wearing (there wasn’t any material from his sleeves to just before the bottom of the shirt) anyone could easily see just how ripped he was. There were small scars all over his arms and sides. His face was skinnier than it probably should’ve been; it seemed like he had been lacking food and sleep. A long scar showed on the side of his face, stretching from his jawline up to his hairline, just barely missing his eye. And his eyes, they were the most astounding part of him. They were huge and bright green, an ocean-like color. In the light, it seemed like the ocean entirely, the light playing with them to make it look like waves. He noticed Takahiro’s actions and the beauty of his eyes dimmed just to return when he noticed me.

 

“Hello,” he said in a soft, high-pitched voice. His voice was very feminine for a man, but it grew the boy’s overall cuteness. “I’m Takahashi Misaki. You’re Usami Akihiko, right?”

 

_ This kid is Takahiro’s little brother?! They look nothing alike! Wait, didn’t Takahiro say something about him being a terrible kid who constantly breaks the rules? _

 

I nodded, a little awed by Takahiro’s little brother. It didn’t make any sense for the tall, handsome, black haired, brown eyed man to have a brother with brown hair, green eyes, short and absolutely adorable.

 

“Would you like some tea or coffee?” Misaki inquired politely, his smile brighter than the sun itself. The only smile that could beat it was Takahiro’s.

 

“Coffee,” I managed to force out as I stared at him. He nodded and walked away. I noticed that Takahiro was carefully avoiding looking or speaking to his brother. Misaki stopped beside him before sighing and moving back to where the kitchen door was.

 

“That’s your little brother?” I asked calmly, trying to avoid sounding too surprised. He did have a pretty normal look to him accept the eyes.

 

“Yeah,” Takahiro sighed sadly.

 

“Why didn’t you look at him?” I questioned without giving it a second thought.

 

“He’s been in the juvenile detention center for a few months now,” Takahiro seemed ashamed to say it. My impression of the cute boy became cold as I realized just how upset he was making my best friend. “He did and I think still does a lot of things that got him in big trouble. I’ve tried so many ways to stop what he’s doing but he doesn’t seem to listen to me. So I’ve decided to stop talking to him altogether.”

 

“What kind of things does he do?” I asked, my eyes narrowing.

 

“What got him in big trouble was vandalism. I don’t know if he still does that, but he’s constantly going out late at night. He gets into fights all the time, even now. And he’s constantly smoking and drinking,” Takahiro’s frown was growing and growing with every word. 

 

Misaki decided to walk in at that moment. His smile was fake but it was definitely there. He was holding two cups of coffee. He set one on the coffee table in front of his brother, who was once again avoiding all eye contact and facing the wall. I gave him a glare as he looked at me, setting the cup of coffee in front of me. The smile didn’t dull in the slightest but I could see in his big eyes that it wasn’t a pleasant thing for him to see. Then he was gone, back where he came from.

 

“I really have no clue what to do about him,” Takahiro rubbed his eyes. He was definitely lacking sleep, probably doing a lot of allnighters trying to find a solution to his problems. I shook my head, finding no solution either. The only thing I could think was how much hatred I’d grown for this boy I’d only just met. 

 

He reappeared after Takahiro and I found a better topic. I knew exactly when he came even though he was behind me, due to Takahiro’s sudden behavior change and his entire body turning towards the wall, staring a hole in it.

 

“Dinner’s in the fridge,” the petite boy said as he walked towards the front door, a very large bag over his shoulder.

 

“Where are you going?” I asked before he left. He looked at me, smiling slightly even though I was giving him my death stare.

 

“Work,” was his overly simple answer. I looked towards Takahiro and found him angrier than I’d ever seen him. He was still looking away but his hands were clenched into fists and his face was a bright red, tears about to break from his eyes.

 

Misaki left without another word while I was staring at my best friend. One of the two fists that he’d created was suddenly thrown against the wall that he stared at.

 

“That little…” he grumbled before inhaling deeply, wiping away the water in his eyes. 

 

Before I could even think, I had jumped off the couch and out the door. I grabbed the boy by his elbow after finally catching up with him. He looked behind him to me and sighed before smiling softly. It was obvious he was just barely crying.

 

“Hello, Usami-san. Do you need something?” he asked politely. An unlit cigarette was placed in between his lips.

 

“Why the hell are you worrying your brother?” I growled, tightening my hold on his elbow. He flinched tears noticeably in his oceany eyes. “After everything, he’s done for you, you’re getting in trouble with the police, fighting. Do you realize how hard that is for your brother?”

 

Misaki’s head lowered and he pulled his pins out of his hair so his long bangs could cover his face. It was surprising that he looked even sadder and ashamed than his own brother.  _ Why does he do things like that if he’s even ashamed of it? _

 

He sighed deeply before yanking his arm away from me with the most strength I’d ever felt. It was amazing for someone so small to be that strong.

 

“I’m sorry,” he muttered. “This is my problem. I need to fix it myself.” He turned and ran away with surprising speed, especially with the giant bag that hung over his shoulder. The contents of the bag clanked as he bolted away.

 

I kicked at the dirt under my feet, the dirt puffing up like a cloud.

 

“That little punk,” I growled before going back to console my best friend with the rebellious juvenile of a brother.

  
  
  
  


**Misaki’s POV**

 

I sighed, pressing my head against my next project. It was the car of a train, and it was massive. Tears poured from my eyes as I thought about what I’d been doing. I’d been troubling my brother, which I never wanted. But I knew that there was nothing I could do until I got someone to believe me. I needed someone I could trust and someone who could trust me to share what my actual problem was.

 

I grabbed the harness out of my bag and started hooking myself up so I could do the work I was being forced to do. I started pulling myself up off the ground with the piece of heavy equipment and immediately got to work spray painting the massive surface. I started with buildings, then the sky, then all the important details. By the time I was done, the sun was down and the art I’d created blended completely into the nighttime world.

 

I admired it for a bit before starting to pack up. I knew that in a few minutes, the boss would be there to look at my work and reminding me why I did this job. I would prefer not to be around when he comes but that wasn’t much of an option.

 

As if he could read my mind, he showed up as I thought about it. Of course, he didn’t greet me like a normal person or even bring my attention to his presence as I slowly lowered myself, trying to get back on the ground. I didn’t even know he was there until the harness stopped completely thanks to him grabbing the cable. He waved to me as I looked down.

 

“Hey, Takahashi-kun! Good job today!” he called up to me and I smiled nervously. I knew what was coming next but that didn’t change my hope that it wouldn’t come. He started to untie the cable while I was still hanging on it, holding the cable so I had no chance of dropping myself back down safely.

 

When the cable was completely untied, he didn’t even try to hold me up and just let me free fall all the way down to the ground. It hadn’t been the first time that he’d made me fall but this was the first time that I hadn’t been able to turn myself in a way that would avoid the worst injuries. Since this project was a little shorter of a structure, I didn’t get enough time to turn myself around. So, unlike most times when I only got a sprain or a broken bone, this time I landed right on top of a rock… on my face.

 

The rock wasn’t too big, but it was big enough to get embedded in my eye. I screamed and sobbed, the pain worse than anything I’d ever experienced. Blood dripped down my face at the same rate as my tears.

 

“Damn, that was awesome!” the boss cheered, jumping up and down as though this was some funny joke. I breathed heavily, trying to calm myself down. Nothing could stop the pain right now but I could at least stop screaming and sobbing so I could actually see. “I guess I’ll give you a few days off for that one,” I heard him sigh with disappointment. “You probably need to get that checked out.”

 

He grabbed my hair and I screamed again. My head was on fire, a fire that felt like it’d burn for eternity.

 

Even though he’d now handicapped me forever, he still had his regular fun with me. When he’d finally left me to clean up and go home, I found myself unable to do pretty much anything. My head was now just a dull ache but all the other pain was amplified to the point where it took me forever to even get myself up. It felt like hours past before I’d completely cleaned up and started my way home, the world awfully fuzzy.

  
  
  
  


**Usagi’s POV**

 

“Would you like coffee or tea?” the regular polite question that most people asked when having a visitor was once again asked by the petite boy that was my best friend’s brother. But this one was a little different. He sounded like he’d been screaming for days, his voice raw and soft. His face was now covered by his bangs; he hadn’t even bothered to pull his bangs out of his face. He looked somewhat dizzy as he stood there, swaying slightly back and forth. Takahiro didn’t notice because he was staring at the wall. But I knew something was definitely off; his regular smile wasn’t even in place.

 

“Coffee,” I muttered, not wanting to bother with this irritating kid. He turned his head towards his silent brother before he continued walking, clutching at the wall as though he couldn’t even support himself.

 

A few minutes past with no words from neither me nor Takahiro before there was a loud crash in the kitchen. Takahiro just winced and looked away from the door, clutching at the arm of the couch in the hopes not to give in. But I was in the other room in seconds.

 

The kitchen was very small and strangely shaped. The oven was just barely bigger than the microwave, on top of the counter right next to it. The stove was not connected to the counter or the stove but was like a whole bunch of hot plates stuck together. The sink was in the corner, no dishwasher accompanying it. But those details really didn’t concern me at the moment.

 

Misaki was on his knees, clutching at the counter, trying to pull himself back up. One of the cups that he’d been using to fill with coffee was shattered on the floor in front of him, except for a particularly sharp shard sticking out of his shin. He couldn’t make it to his feet and fell back onto his knees, a loud crashing noise sounding from his knees hitting the tiled floor.

 

I went over to him, grabbing his arm and shoulder, supporting him so he could stand. When he was on his feet, I let go of him and he immediately grabbed onto the counter in the hopes not to fall again. He smiled at me for the first time since I’d seen him today.

 

“Thanks, Usami-san,” his hoarse voice whispered. He tried to take a step but nearly fell back down. I grabbed his elbow and held him up. He began to lean against me. But he pulled away soon after, his dizziness seeming to vanish.

 

“So-sorry!” he gasped, bending down and picking up the different shards coating the floor. I was a little surprised at his energy after what had happened, especially since he still had a very large piece of a cup stabbing into his shin. He hadn’t even noticed it! A phone began to vibrate and he looked down, realizing it was his. He looked at it and flinched as though someone had just tried to sock him in the face.

 

“I’ve gotta take this. Can you give this to Nii-chan when you leave?” he handed me a cup. “And this one’s yours.” He pointed to another cup on the other side of the small coffee maker.

 

And he started running towards the front door and slammed the door as he did.

  
  
  
  


**Misaki’s POV**

 

“What is it?” I gasped out, my head spinning when I’d stopped running. My vision began to blur even worse than the three days that I’d had this problem.

 

“How rude of you to answer your phone like that, Takahashi-kun!” my boss gasped obviously quite hurt by my greeting.

 

“I still have another few days before I have to go back to work,” I growled, ignoring the man’s offended tone. “What the hell do you want?”

 

“Did you go to a doctor?”

 

“I don’t have the money for a doctor!”

 

“Whaaaaat? Do I not give you enough?” his voice was very playful since he already was aware that what he gave me for money wasn’t anything someone could live off of.

 

“You only give me enough money to pay for more supplies and you know it.”

 

“Why don’t you get another job?” once again, a very playful question. It made me want to wring his neck.

 

“Is there something you want or were you just trying to get on my nerves?” I growled, trying to keep myself from punching anything.

 

“I was just seeing if you wanted some extra money,” he giggled. “But you’re not being very fun so I guess not.” I couldn’t even get in another word before he hung up. I growled, nearly breaking my phone with my harsh grip. I breathed heavily, calming my nerves so I didn’t end up destroying anything.

 

I started walking back, not realizing until about halfway there that I was limping and both my head and leg were stinging. I looked down to find my pant leg soaked in crimson liquid. I stared at it silently, not sure what caused it.

 

I was nearly home when my head began to spin again. Last time, I’d dropped a cup and seemed to scare Usami. This time, I was right next to my house’s wall and grabbed at it, not allowing myself to fall again. Clutching at the wall, I limped my way to the door.

 

“So I’ll be coming to celebrate your birthday this year,” Usami’s voice bounced off the walls in the house. You could hear him no matter where you were. I smiled, at least someone would be there for my brother on his birthday.

 

I stayed in the front hallway for a moment, gaining some composure so I could act like nothing was wrong. I stood up by myself and walked limply into the house completely.

 

Nii-chan saw me and immediately turned to the wall. I hoped for a day when he’d listen to what I had to say instead of just yelling at me or ignoring me. I looked towards Usami, a glint of concern as well as hatred in his very nice purple eyes. I smiled at him.

 

“Do you need some help cleaning that up?” Usami was looking down at my leg. _ Was he there when this happened? Did a shard of that cup I broke cut me? _

 

I laughed. “No it’s fine,” I sighed. I would’ve loved some help. When you’re cleaning out an injury, it hurts like hell. But when you’re with someone else, they can distract you and you don’t even really notice the pain. Though there was no way I was going to bother Usami with that. He wanted to talk to my brother and cleaning up my wounds would just make him hate me more.

 

“Don’t lie,” I was surprised by Usami’s stern expression. And he could tell I was lying… no one's ever noticed me lying before. “Takahiro, sorry to leave you but I think your brother could use some help.”

 

Nii-chan turned to Usami and nodded with a fond smile. I hadn’t seen a smile on his face in a while, it made me happy.

 

Usami stood up, grabbed my arm and forcefully pulled me with him to the bathroom. I didn’t fight but he was moving a little too fast which made me drag my feet.

 

When we were in the bathroom, I jumped onto the counter, getting a little dizzy again. I pulled out some medicines and bandages from the medicine cabinets. Usami was just standing there, at a loss of what to do. I laughed.

 

“I appreciate your concern but I do know how to clean up my wounds,” I chuckled. “Do you not know how to clean up a cut?” I realized just how confused he looked as I pulled up my pant leg. There was a gigantic cut on my shin, a big piece of glass sticking out of it. Blood was clotting on the wound, showing that there was more glass inside of the cut.

 

“I’ve… never tried,” he was ashamed to say it. It made me giggle a little.

 

“Well, why did you offer to come help me then?” I laughed.

 

“Because I wasn’t thinking about it. And… when you said that it was fine, you seemed like you would really like me to come help,” he answered, shame still obvious in his voice.

 

“Well, if you just talk to me, I think that could help,” I smiled at him. “And maybe you can pick up a few things from me in case of an emergency.” The shame had dissolved after I’d said that. He sat on the rim of the bath, a small smile playing at the edge of his mouth. “You don’t faint at the sight of blood or anything right?”

 

He looked surprised when I said that.

 

“No but why would you…?” he didn’t get another word in before I started to rip out the shard of glass inside of my leg. I grimaced, biting my lip so hard that I could taste blood.

 

“Shit,” I growled, wiping my mouth, abandoning my leg for a moment. I bent down, grabbing something from the cupboard under the sink. I pulled out a small bag, filled with what everyone assumed was a cigarette. I ripped open the bag and the purple colored lollipop was the first thing you noticed.

 

Usami was very confused when I stuck the sugary candy inside of my mouth and continued the procedure.

 

“What’s that for?” he asked.

 

“It’s to keep me from screaming or…” I whimpered as I tugged at the glass again. “Biting my lip.”

 

“I see,” he nodded.

 

I scrunched my face with pain, creating a deep pain inside of my eye. To keep myself from screaming, I bit even harder at the lollipop until surprisingly, it broke right in half. The first time I’d ever bitten the seemingly unbreakable lollipop until it did just that, broke. I stopped what I was doing, completely shocked at myself.

 

“Misaki-kun?” Usami asked worriedly. He snapped me out of my daze and I pulled out the broken lollipop, tossing it into the trash can. I also spit out the shards inside of my mouth into the sink.

 

“Usami-san…” I muttered to him. His attention was grabbed by my small voice. “I’m sorry to bother you but could you go outside and grab a thick stick for me and clean it off really good?”

 

He left, not bothering with questions. I jumped off of the counter and turned to face the mirror. I pulled my hair out of my face and pinned it up, ripped the bandage covering my eye without a seconds wait. I grimaced at the sharp pain that lingered.

 

I stared at the bloody mess that was my eye. The rock was still embedded in my eye socket; I wanted to get enough money and get to a doctor to avoid making things worse. I didn’t know what to do, I’d never had to deal with an eye injury before. I didn’t even try to clean it for fear that it’d ruin something. I literally just slapped a bandage over my eye and let it be.

 

_ What to do? What to do?! _ You could see that it was getting infected; it was an unclean rock inside my eye after all. I growled, pulling out another purple lollipop and shoving it into my mouth. Before I tried anything, I slammed the door to the bathroom shut but forgot to lock it in my fear that I’d end up killing myself.

 

I took out some tweezers from the drawer and slowly moved it into my eye socket. I got a grip on the rock with the tweezers and started pulling it out. I groaned, excruciating pain stretching throughout my entire body like I’d just been struck by lightning. The second lollipop shattered in my mouth and I ground my teeth together to keep the screams from escaping.

 

Sadly, no matter how hard I tried, the screams escaped my mouth, as well as the tears, escaped my eye. I threw the tweezers across the room when I started crying because there was no way for me to see.

 

“Damn it!” I screamed, throwing my fist against the wall, tears slipping down my face at a rapid pace.

 

The door opened without warning and I turned towards the door to find Usami staring at me, completely bewildered.

 

_ Shit! _ I put my hand over my eye, grimacing at the pain in my head as I did.

 

“What the hell is that?” he asked, looking pale as if he’d be sick.

 

“Nothing,” I said, wiping at my soaked cheek. “Just go away for a bit,” I added, sniffling now that my nose was running.

 

“You cannot pass that off as nothing,” Usami disagreed, storming up to me and tearing my hand off of my face, exposing the disturbing and disgusting wound. As soon as he’d done that, I fell on top of him, feeling so dizzy and nauseous that I couldn’t stay standing anymore. “Misaki-kun?!”

 

My vision started to blacken.  _ Am I finally going to die? _

 

“Misaki-kun, come on! Get up! Get the fuck up!” I heard Usami’s distant voice calling to me, but I couldn’t. I felt so tired, I felt like sleeping.

 

“I’m sorry,” I whispered before I couldn’t feel any more.


	2. Colored Black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the long wait for such a short chapter that doesn't really affect the story. I was just trying to get a grip on what I wanted for Misaki's backstory. I hope you all like it! It's a little confusing right now but hopefully, I'll pull everything together later.  
> In case you didn't understand, Misaki's dad was actually a one-night stand of Misaki's mom (it was a drunk night for his mom and it was an accident). So Takahiro's dad always had a grudge on both Misaki's mom and Misaki. Also, Takahiro's never physically abused Misaki, but constantly used to verbally abuse him. Sorry for being so vague! :P  
> Forgive my constant absences, I hope you'll still stick with me anyways! Love you all! <3

Usagi’s POV

 

My mind was running wild as I held onto the limp body of my best friend’s little brother. The main questions that went through my mind were “What do I do?” and “How did he get such an awful wound like that?” I realized as I stood there, hugging this boy, that his body was insanely thin. Don’t get me wrong, anyone who looked at him would be able to tell he was thin, but I could wrap my arms around him and almost be able to grasp my shoulders. This was an insanely unhealthy weight for any kid over the age of thirteen. And it seemed the majority of said weight came from his toned muscles.

 

“Takahiro!” I called, realizing that I was standing there while this kid’s breathing was slowing and could possibly stop any second. Takahiro was at the door, hiding behind the side of the door as he stared at the sight.

 

“What happened?” he asked without moving.

 

“That is not the problem right now. We need to get Misaki-kun to the hospital!” I was surprised at how scared I was for this brat. I hated him, so why should I be so afraid for him? It’s not like he was really gonna die.

 

Takahiro didn’t move one inch and his beautiful, dark eyes hardened. “No,” he said simply. “He got himself into this mess, he has to get himself out of it. He promised me that he’d always get himself out of whatever mess he got into, so I don’t care.”

 

I was baffled when Takahiro walked passed the door and to his room without saying or doing anything.

 

“What kind of brother are you?!” I screamed and growled in frustration as I didn’t have anything else I could think of. Not even Haruhiko would be so heartless towards me if I was dying in the arms of Isaka-san! 

 

_ How could I have ever loved such a heartless bastard? Goddamn it, Takahiro, you fucking fool! How could Takahiro possibly expect Misaki-kun to “get out of this mess himself”?  _ My eyes widened in surprise as I realized what I’d just been thinking. Never once had I thought so awfully about Takahiro; Takahiro could do no wrong in my eyes. Why did this all of a sudden, create such a hatred towards my childhood friend? How could this brat create such a rift between me and the person I thought I loved?

 

A sigh escaped the tiny Takahashi brother, resulting in the heaving breaths suddenly ceasing. I stared down at him for a moment, holding my breath, something in me grieving so deeply for this little boy. 

 

In a sudden rush of adrenaline, I pulled him into my embrace, holding him bridal style. It felt so right for him to be laying in my arms; his light body a perfect fit for mine. I rushed out to my red sports car and sped to the hospital, not paying attention to the speed I was actually going. It had to be over 128 km per hour (79.5 miles), but at that moment for some reason, Misaki was the only thing on my mind. I could hear his gasps for air, which eased my fear slightly, but it sounded like he was gonna stop breathing completely soon. For some reason, my whole being was screaming at me to keep him alive.

 

I parked like a fucking idiot when I made it to the hospital, jumped out and throwing Misaki over my shoulder this time as if he were a rag doll. I ran through the clear hospital doors and yelled for a doctor. A few nurses had taken him and a few others forced me to wait patiently in the waiting room and fill out the paperwork.

 

It felt like forever. At least when I had the paperwork, I had something that took my mind off everything; now I was staring at the wall, biting my nails (since I couldn’t smoke in a hospital), trying to sort out my thoughts.

 

_ I shouldn’t care so much about this stupid brat. He’s been making Takahiro’s life a living hell. So why did I act that way when he stopped breathing? And why did I act that way when Takahiro acted the way he did? It doesn’t make any sense! _

 

“Are you the one who brought Takahashi-kun here?” I was so lost in thought that I didn’t notice the doctor standing in front of me. I nodded, still somewhat dazed from the dangerously deep questions swirling around my brain. “How well do you know him?”

 

“We haven’t known each other for very long if that’s what you mean,” I muttered, not really thinking much of his questions.

 

“Did he ever say anything about… um, harassment of any kind? Possibly from a family member… or a friend maybe?” I looked up into the concerned blue eyes of the doctor for the first time since he started talking to me. All thoughts ceased as I tried to think back in time to all of our encounters. I realized as I did how pathetic it was, the lack of communication between the two of us. 

 

“I don’t…” I growled in frustration. I was never very patient when it came to my own thoughts. Then, the question that probably should’ve popped into my head as soon as this man presented this question, threw itself in front of all other thoughts, terrifying me even more. “Why would you ask that?”

 

“There are a lot of things that point to severe abuse afflicted upon his body and mind. The millions of scars scattered around his body, the eye injury as well as…” the doctor stopped a moment, noticeably conflicted on whether to say the last part.

 

“What?” I asked, already having the idea of what he was going to say slowly creeping into my brain. But every fiber of my being tried to throw that idea away.  _ He’s strong enough to stop such a thing, right? Who would do that to a delinquent like him anyway? There’s no way! _

 

“Well, he is showing multiple problems that are found in someone who has been…” he paused for a moment before finishing with the word I dreaded- “raped multiple times.” I stared at him for a moment, a horrible sickness spreading inside of my stomach. “I was hoping that you might know something; it’s not confirmed whether what I just said is true.”

 

“I…” I swallowed hard, holding back the vomit that was trying to force its way out of me. “...didn’t really know him that well. I only met him a month or so ago… after he got out of the juvenile detention center.”

 

“I see,” the doctor sighed, ruffling through his black hair. “Can you explain why his emergency contact refused to come here or even listen to what I have to say?” My face scrunched as I remembered Takahiro. 

 

“Misaki-kun had a bit of a falling out with his older brother a while back ago and I guess this is what’s become of it,” I grumbled, rubbing at my tired eyes. “When will I get to see him?”

 

“Since he has no parent or guardian willing to come, I suppose I can let you stand in for them if you’d like,” he sighed. I stood and walked behind the doctor, who took me to the sleeping boy.

 

_ No parents? _ It took me a moment to remember the long, emotional conversation Takahiro and I had right after high school. Or could you even call it a conversation? It was more like Takahiro was talking and I just listened; not saying or doing anything. I let him vent about his problems; I remembered a small moment of time that I had forgotten.

 

“Both of my parents are gone. They’re never coming back. And of course, the only one to survive was that little-spoiled brat! Why was he the only one to survive? The one who can’t even take care of himself! I’m going to have to take care of that kid. I mean, if not, the guilt will kill me. I hate that little brat!”

 

At the time, I felt a mutual hatred for the unnamed spoiled brat. After all, he had created a rift between me and the man I loved. However, I never really thought about it. The sweet and innocent Takahiro had said that about his little brother before even taking him in. Could he have said some of those kinds of things in front of Misaki’s face? And if he could have done that, what else did he have the capacity to do?

 

We walked into the semi-dark room, the only lights coming from the large window covering the far wall. The dim blue-ish light from the night gave the boring room a little more life. As I got closer to the boy on the hospital bed, I laughed to myself. That light gave a little more life to the pale and broken body lying peacefully in the white sheets. The laugh turned to soft cries, tears shed for the boy I despised.

  
  
  
  


Misaki’s POV

 

Around me was a grove of beautiful trees; a place I knew all too well. Spotted in the distance was a pitch black pit, the only color illuminating from it being splotches of crimson. As I scanned my surroundings, I knew without a doubt that it was all in my head. After all, this was the same setting as every dream that I’ve had ever since I was eight.

 

I knew what was coming but for some reason, I had that fear inside the pit of my stomach as the black hole splattered with blood slowly spread, consuming the green that fell in. Even though I knew it was useless, I started to book it in the opposite direction of the growing hole. That direction also held a black hole, even bigger than the other. I turned left then right, each direction held a similar hole. I screamed, an echo rummaging through the trees, sending the birds nesting in them to fly away. Would they be able to get away from the massacre that was slowly coming towards me? I never had the chance to find out.

 

The now massive singular black hole that was created out of the four in each direction finally landed upon me. Unlike the millions of trees that disappeared before they could fall into the blood-splattered pit, I fell down, screaming so loud and for so long that my voice couldn’t keep up anymore. Tears came from my eyes, skidding against the sides of my forehead and getting stuck in my hair.

 

I landed so abruptly that my legs were crushed under me. Why did it feel so real every time? I let out another scream which seemingly was ripped out of my throat, scratching at it. What I was left with was no voice at all. I held my destroyed legs, my entire body begging for the sweet release of death or at least, the sweet, sweet taste of sharp steel against my skin. But there was nothing like that in this wonderland. The only thing to be seen was blood; blood covering the walls and the floor. Blood covering my entire body. But slowly, I could make out the bodies of two different people.

 

One, a woman with long brown hair and green eyes. One side of her face was gone, a giant piece of metal protruding out of it instead. She smiled at me like a lunatic. “You were such a mistake. If only you were never born, my husband never would’ve tried to kill the both of us. Why did you get to live while I died? You never should’ve been born. You were a waste of breath!”

 

The second, a man similar to Nii-chan, but more wrinkles and a more devilish expression. In the facial region, he looks completely fine but when you look down, his chest had a large hole. From different angles, I could get a good glimpse of some of his organs. “I’ve always hated you, ever since I first saw you. You have the same body structure as your whore of a father. You make me sick! I wish that I didn’t fail in killing you that day! You’re just a nuisance! A leech! A selfish bastard! A whore’s son!”

 

My mother, now in a white dress, beautiful as ever, laughed as she waved me over. She was in the middle of the beautiful grove of trees, beautiful white and blue flowers surrounding her. Her hair danced in the breeze as I ran over, arms outstretched to embrace the only person I ever felt cared for me. Although my brain screamed, “Please stop! No! This is the same thing! Please don’t make me see this again! I don’t want to! Just let me see her and talk to her again! That’s all I want! Don’t take her away again!” the same scene played out as any other time. That beautiful woman suddenly collapsed to the floor when I was inches from grabbing her, the horrible head wound visible on that beautiful face of hers, her flowing white dress turned black.

 

Tears flowed down my face as I cradled her in my arms, hugging her bloodied up face against mine. After a moment of sobbing against my mother, I moved away from her and her one green eye opened. She slowly repeated the same phrase as before. But with a little added, “You’re too pathetic for words; you can’t even kill yourself.” Her hand flew up, a knife held between her bony fingers, cutting into my neck.

 

I gagged, Nii-chan’s father’s hand now gripping my neck. My back against a wall, my feet a few inches above the ground. This was a sight I’d seen before and not just in a dream. I was in my childhood kitchen; I’d been using the oven to make something for my sick mom who couldn’t cook in such a state. Nobody else in the household could cook anything, so I thought making something homemade would be better than getting something frozen from the store. After all, everything’s better homemade if you make it right. However, “father” despised anything I did. What I’d made was thrown in the trash as garbage and this was the outcome of making “garbage”.

 

“What if your mother died because you poisoned her, huh? That’s probably what you wanted. You little whore, of course, someone like you’d want to kill the person who wasted so much time and energy on you. She’s probably sick because of you.”

 

I would’ve died that day if it weren't for mom. But of course, I need to torture myself. In this dream mom never came; she didn’t care about me. Nii-chan sat on the couch, acting as though nothing’s going on. Eventually, I fall to the ground, “dad” joining me, hole in his chest. Mom finally comes running sobbing as she calls out to her dead husband before she joins him. While Nii-chan doesn’t say or do anything but just stares at the static-filled tv.

 

Now Nii-chan’s father stood in the same place in the black pit, mom standing aside with her back towards me. He had a belt in hand, eyes glistening from the pain he was ready to inflict upon me while tears slipped down his cheeks.

 

“You know, we all hated you too much for words. We all hoped for you to die that day. But, I guess you’re just too damned stubborn to die, aren’t you? So, if you won’t die and go to hell, might as well make your life a living hell instead.”

 

My eye popped open, cutting off the dream where it had always been stopped. I looked around the room I was in, not recognizing it in the slightest. But you never know, it could’ve just been my blurry vision confusing me. As my senses finally started to come back (my vision slowly joining the others) I could feel someone’s hand holding mine and a forehead against my forearm. Immediately, I could tell it wasn’t Nii-chan, but who else could it be?

 

Somehow, I felt a calming sensation as I felt the soft breath on my arm and the lengthy fingers clenching around mine every once in a while. It took a long time, but my eye finally focused. But by the time it had started doing that, the person hanging from my arm had jerked himself up and yelled “I’m sorry”, revealing the presence to be the almighty author Usami Akihiko. I felt myself giggle softly.

 

“You’re awake!” he gasped before smashing his hand down on a button. “H-how are you feeling?”

 

“Can you tell me where I am?” I asked softly, not able to think about his question while I was still worrying about my whereabouts.

 

“The hospital… Where else would you be?” he said matter of factly. With that I groaned, rubbing my one eye to try to relieve the need for a cigarette or a knife. 

 

“Thank you very much for your help Usami-san. And for staying here with me,” I managed a forced smile, now wondering how on earth I was going to pay for such expenses. “Why did you stay here anyway?”

 

Almost on cue, a nurse walked through the door, a smile plastered on her face.

 

“Takahashi-kun, you’re awake. How are you feeling?” the nurse asked softly. I didn’t feel good, for sure. But I couldn’t be here for very long; I needed to pay as little as I could concerning something like this.

 

“Could be better. How long am I gonna be here?” I smiled at her, my head stinging.

 

“It depends on how fast you heal and how much you share with us about your condition,” she laughed. “I can’t believe you already want to leave after how much trouble you were having just a few hours ago.”

 

“How much I share about my condition?” 

 

“Well, just a few things concerning how you contained the injuries you have. And some psychological evaluations will probably take place before you may leave,” she added, acting as though this information meant nothing. My brain started reeling with fear on how to pay for all of this and how to avoid someone’s death.

 

“I see. And how much money would that be exactly?” I laughed softly, rubbing my one eye in order to see her better. 

 

“A few thousand dollars….?” she answered with uncertainty. I sighed.

 

“Great,” I whispered sarcastically, stress building inside me like a 50 story hotel.

 

“Don’t worry about it too much Takahashi-kun,” she said cheerfully. “I’m gonna take a few tests to make sure that you’re doing alright then I’ll let you be for a little while. Would you like Usami Akihiko to leave?”

 

“I don’t mind unless he’d like to leave,” I shrugged.


End file.
